I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
