problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
