i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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