Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Randomize
