lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
