I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
