just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
