Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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