Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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