ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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