I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
