Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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