when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Someone came in the potted fern
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Randomize
