You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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