you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
its liver damage thursday
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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