This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
this just has baby written all over it
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I just googled if crying burns calories
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize