just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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