i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I hope mine doesn't look like that
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
