I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
