No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
