Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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