well you can't waste a boner
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
