You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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