Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
