i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
