Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
