I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
