One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
