my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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