Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
