do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
