yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize