It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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