just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
