Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
