her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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