I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
