don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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