Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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