dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize