Do you still have your period?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
