Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
should my penis look like a turkey
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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