I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I think my fart just growled at me.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
