At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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