I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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