so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
