Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
