I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Randomize
