This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
