I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
