I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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