i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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