I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
