dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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