i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
