he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
it's like iHOP with fire
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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