Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
