well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
