Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Shitshow foam night was such a success
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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