can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
