Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
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