if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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