I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You brought string cheese to the strip club
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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