why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Randomize
