i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
