Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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